“We Should Be With Them”
Bringing comfort and strength in the middle of grief—simply by showing up for one another.
Esther Lee
About a week ago, I witnessed a powerful picture of the body of Christ in action. It began with heartbreaking news: one of the couples in our church had lost their baby boy after a long stay in the NICU. His condition had seemed to be improving, which made his passing feel even more sudden. Around the same time, another member of their family experienced a serious health crisis and was hospitalized in the ICU. That week, I happened to be in Chicago with a group of our full-time leaders for meetings at our headquarters. We had been praying for this couple, asking God to comfort and strengthen them. After that prayer time, Pastor Ed and Kelly put words to what many of us were feeling: “We should be with them.”
So we changed our plans. People started rebooking flights to Southern California, where this couple was. It was a little chaotic—we even triggered Southwest’s congestion pricing…on each other! And yet, we all sensed the rightness of the decision. By the end of the day, about 60 of us were landing at different airports across Southern California. Members from our SoCal churches picked us up, lent us cars, and even opened their homes to house us last minute. The next day, we visited the couple at the hospital, where they were caring for their family member in the ICU. It was quite a sight: so many people showing up, not because anyone had assigned them to, but because they wanted this couple to know they were not alone. We gathered around them, prayed for them, and simply sat with them.
Later that week, we helped plan and put together the memorial service for their child. I was moved as I watched a small army of our church members mobilize—setting up the sanctuary, creating a photo wall, preparing food, coordinating logistics, and taking care of countless details. On the day of the memorial, nearly 400 people came: family, friends, members from our SoCal churches, and even friends from our churches in the Midwest and East Coast. They came simply to be with this family. Through the service, God was able to encourage and strengthen the family. Some of the amazing NICU nurses who had cared for their child came all the way from the Bay Area to attend the memorial - and I hope they too got to experience some of God’s peace and comfort.
Looking back, in the midst of sadness, God showed us something beautiful: a picture of covenantal relationships. A community of people who are practiced in showing up, working hard, serving, and moving toward one another in love. Sometimes, we can take for granted the Acts 2 rhythms that have become almost second nature to us. But in moments like this, I’m reminded again why God created us to be in covenantal community. Life will bring suffering, loss, and situations we cannot control. But if we stay committed to one another, if we keep practicing the habit of meeting each other’s needs, then even in the midst of tragedy, we can still experience what Acts 2 describes: “awe came upon every soul.”
Esther helps lead the A2F ministry at UC Santa Barbara